Friday, February 3, 2012

Realities of Relocating

Brian and I have been married for eight months now. Doesn't time fly?

The days before our wedding were filled with so much joy and anticipation. I couldn't even believe that I was about to marry my best friend. It was so exciting to think that we were going to finally be together; it had been quite a long time coming. No more short weekend visits, countdowns until we would see each other again, and too-frequent good-byes. I honestly couldn't even wrap my head around it.

But, as our wedding day approached, there was also a growing feeling in the pit of my stomach. It would bring me to tears easily when I thought about it. I was not at all nervous to be marrying Brian, and I knew that our life together would be fulfilling and all kinds of wonderful that I couldn't even imagine at the time.

But, every day that passed also brought me closer to moving away from my family and everything I had ever known in Maryland. I had never considered that I wouldn't continue living there...until I met Brian. And then pretty much everything, including where we would be living, was beyond my control.

I think one of the hardest parts of moving was (and still is) that I have the most amazing friends there. It feels like it took me so long to find true "forever" friends. I have never made friends easily because I can be extremely shy around new people...and Brian tends to be the same way. Before we got married, we were discussing some of these worries and he reassured me that we would make friends in Savannah. I protested (irrationally?): "I don't want any more friends. I really like the ones I already have!"

Over the past eight months, Brian and I have done a lot of exploring around Savannah together and have fallen in love with our charming new town. We have decorated our house and made it truly feel like home to us. Places are starting to become "ours" and I cherish the routines we've created now that we're together every day. We had pretty much mastered being apart before we got married...I love our new "normal" and all of the ups and downs that come with it.

A couple of weeks ago, Brian was told (again) that he will deploying in a matter of months. While we're still kind of reeling from the first deployment that didn't happen, everything indicates that this time around it actually will (although, do you ever really know for sure until he's gone?) When we found out, I realized that we are woefully lacking in any type of support system here for me. I know that I have an amazing one back in Maryland, and 657 miles hasn't interfered with those people being there for me in this chapter of our lives (and I know it won't in the future). But there is just something about having people physically there for you; to help when your car breaks down, or you get sick, or you just need a shoulder to cry on. We briefly considered packing up our things, putting them in storage, and sending me back to to where my friends and family are (and my pets...I can't forget them!)

I miss this dog.
But as appealing as that sounds, something in me just can't do it. Our home is here, and I feel like it is my responsibility to "hold down the fort" while Brian is gone. I want him to be able to come back to the home that we shared before he left and some semblance of normalcy.

Not to mention, I finally have a job I'm enjoying and don't particularly want to leave. (It only took me seven months to find something...I don't intend on walking away from it just yet!)

So, we decided it was time to be more proactive. Brian planned a double date with a friend from work, and I really enjoyed getting to know him and his wife. Then, they invited us to attend their small group last night, and in any other circumstances we may have come up with a thousand excuses as to why it wasn't the right timing for us. I am so, so glad we went. It was absolutely a step in the right direction.

While our time together may be limited, we are going to enjoy every minute. Together, and with old and new friends. Which will hopefully make this whole thing a whole lot easier to handle.


Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

I can totally relate girl! While my husband is not in the military, he's currently in a rotational program with his job and in the past year and a half we've lived in South Carolina, Colorado, and we just recently moved to Lake Tahoe! While I'm so thankful for the opportunity to get to see different parts of the country, it's definitely HARD. It takes time to make those good friends you could call in an emergency, and being away from family is so tough...but I try to just stay positive and focus on the good things about our situation, everything will be ok! :)

PS: When we were living in South Carolina we made a few trips to Savannah and I absolutely loved it :)

Mrs. SE said...

First of all, that lighthouse picture is amazing and I hope you've got it on a canvas in your home! I understand where you're coming from. While I can't relate with the military wife component, I can relate w/the relocation and finiding "home" in a new place. I moved to Nashville only knowing my husband (he moved there 1.5 yrs before me), and we just moved to Denver together and only knew his aunt/uncle. My husband works really long hours too, sometimes until 10pm, so there's a lot of alone time. It's hard and it's scary not having a support system here. I keep thinking, "oh I'll call so and so to have a girls' night". Then I remember that I don't know anybody here, and that's hard. As awkward as it is to make friendships outside of school, it's sometimes the first step that gets things going. For instance, the girl who did my hair was super nice and I think we might be friends. So I told her I work in weddings, she does bridal hair, and maybe we could grab coffee and talk about it. Little steps! You've got your web family and that's a good thing you've got going, girl. If you ever want to skype, gchat... I'm here!

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I think that's great that you've got an awesome support system no matter where you are. Enjoy your time together.

Army Wife RN said...

I totally get when you say it doesn't feel right to up and move back home during deployment. When we faced deployment, I felt the same need to stay put in "our home." You will meet other spouses, and although they aren't quite like your friends from home, they will know exactly what you are going through because they are going through it too!

French Lover said...

I just moved from France to Canada to be with my husband so this post hits close to home (no pun intended!). Thank you for sharing, I can totally relate! (Especially since my husband might move to the US for a year and I would have to stay in Canada, so far away from my own family and friends!)

Jax said...

Sending so much love. I am so sorry he's deploying soon, but am so proud of your decision to stay and hold down the homefront in his absence. I couldnt imagine how hard that would be. At least you can travel back home to visit friends if you ever realllllllly need to get away and get some support from loved ones. Sending hugs, friend.

Denise said...

LOOOOVE the lighthouse picture.. Gorgeous!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...